Darkside Soap website is moving

Ok, here's the deal...I'm gonna quit updating this Darkside Soap blog. It's a pain in the butt to update & it's no longer the best place to get info about Darkside Soap.

For the latest & greatest updates, go to the Darkside Soap Facebook page. Facebook Fans get 20% off their order, so it just makes good sense.

Also, I'm going to reroute DarksideSoap.com link to the Etsy shop. That's where you'd go to buy the soap...so effective immediately, when you go to darksidesoap.com, you'll no longer be taken to this page. Which begs the question...how did you get here to read this?!?!? Get over to the Facebook Page or the Etsy Shop, that's where all the action is.

Thanks...

Darkside Soap Mgmt.

Darkside Soap presents – Sweaty in Tahiti

Don’t you just love the beach? We sure do, so we tried to cram as much beachiness as possible into this soap. The scent is a blend of Mango, Coconut & Pineapple…some might say that scent combo is a complete knock-off of Tahiti Sweetie from Bath & Body Works…but don’t listen to those know-it-alls!

…and what’s a trip to the beach without a little sand in your shorts, so to duplicate that sensation we’ve loaded the soap with gentle exfoliating apricot seeds and a bit of Brazilian Sea Salt.. Now you can completely experience the feeling of being at the beach in your own shower, without having to dodge pooping seagulls.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - Bovine Inspired Fine Art Beauty Bars

Some soaps are just too darn pretty to just be called soaps.
These Bovine Inspired Fine Art Beauty Bars will really class up the joint. The boss is coming over for dinner & you want to make a good impression? Just lay a couple of these bad boys on the mantle above the fireplace, then start expecting that promotion you've been waiting for. Plus they'll take the stink out of the air. They have a beautiful Oatmeal, Milk & Honey scent...when's the last time you bought art that smelled like that?
Note - These Bovine Inspired Fine Art Beauty Bars can also be used as soap.



Darkside Soap presents - That @#$%!! Round soap

You know why you don't see a lot of round soaps? Because it's a big pain in the a** to make them. We read online that a Pringles can makes a great soap mold, so we thought we’d give it a try. How hard can it be, the soap will just slide out of the mold & all is well, right?
Well, something very bad happens when the liquid soap meets the inside of a Pringles can. We think it must be the same technique that they use to make Crazy Glue. The soap sticks to the sides like you wouldn't believe.
No problem, we can just peel away the Pringles can, right? No, you'd be wrong...when adhered to sticky soap, the Pringles can does nothing resembling the word 'peel'. Plucking dime-sized piece after piece of cardboard from sticky soap is a much better description of the process. Actually, the best way we can describe in is, have you ever tried to peel the skin off of a hot dog? It's EXACTLY like that.
The soap smells like Carrot Cake and each bar is nice & thick (about 4 oz.). Some of the edges are nice & smooth...but most aren't. The soap itself actually came out really nice, but it's a one time offer, we are NOT making it again.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - OK Beer Soapski

Ho hum, here's our latest beer soap, it turned out ok. We used this Polish beer called OK Beer and added a little black swirl, but otherwise it's natural color and scent; it looks & smells ok.
This soap will make you say "um, it's ok, I guess".
Enjoy!!...kinda.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - Count of Monte Crisco soap

This soap has an interesting story; it was falsely accused of treason and imprisoned in a dungeon for fourteen years. Then another bar of soap advised that there was treasure buried on a Mediterranean island called Monte Crisco. This soap escaped, acquired the treasure, gave itself the name Count of Monte Crisco, and ruthlessly destroyed its enemies.
..oh, and the soap is made using Crisco & Coconut oil, and it smells like Coconut.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - (Not so) Pure Evil

Uh oh, we thought we did it again. As you know, the first batch of Pure Evil was basically straight from hell. From the moment this batch started swirling around in the cauldron, we knew something unholy was going on again. The color is pure black…and if you look closely, you can see subtle sneaky hints of red in each bar. We thought oh no, here we go again...but then we tried the soap. Wow, is that a citrus scent mixed with subtle hints of pine & peppermint? Oh, that smells nice. Wow, my skin feels nice too and I'm no longer covered in fleas, could that be Pennyroyal Essential oil that I feel? The same Pennyroyal Essential oil that is reputed to repel insects? Wow, that was a really nice thing to add. Even the color isn't as black as the original, it's kinda gray around the edges.
Perhaps this soap isn't as evil as we once thought? ...oh wait, apparently in folklore, witches used Pennyroyal plants to make people see double. Hmmm, I guess we'd better still keep our disclaimer*.

* Note - Use of this product may turn your shower into a portal straight to the deepest reaches of hell.



Darkside Soap presents - Figgy Pudding

Is there anyone more in-tune with what the human race wants than carolers? Unfortunately these wise sages only come out once a year, but their demands are clear; they want peace on earth, a white Christmas and figgy pudding. Here at Darkside Labs we can’t help with the first two (yet), but we present to you, Figgy Pudding Soap.
In an attempt to lure carolers out of hiding, we used vivid reds and greens in this batch, since our studies show that 99% of carolers wear red or green garments. Plus we were drinking a cup of good cheer, so we kinda forgot that Christmas isn’t for a few more months. The scent is Moroccan Fig, which smells so good, we’re certain that you won’t go until you get some.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - A Mild Case of Chicken Pox

Ok, let's admit it, the first batch of Chicken Pox soap was a bit too jojoba-heavy. It made for a nice hand washing soap, but using it in the shower felt a bit like that scene with all the hooks in Hellraiser. Well, Chick Pox is back, new and improved, with a fresh new scent and considerably less jojoba beads.

Don't you miss the days when you had chicken pox? Aside from some general malaise (and looking like a zitty mutant), you were able to stay home from school, watch television all day & eat whatever you wanted...while covered in a think salve.

Well now you can relive those warm fuzzy days with Chicken Pox soap. Each flesh-colored bar contains hundreds dozens of strategically placed red jojoba beads. If you've never experienced jojoba beads before, imagine a soap that's ribbed for your pleasure, it feels a lot like that.

The scent is new and improved too...it's a mix of mango, coconut and pineapple, your shower will feel like you're on a tropical vacation.

Purchase


Darkside Soap presents - Gee, Your Armpits Smell Terrific

Although all Darkside Soaps can be used as shampoo bars that will give you great-smelling hair, we pride ourselves on cleaning those body parts that don't get all the attention that they deserve. Sure, your hair is probably beautiful and people compliment you on it all the time, but when is the last time someone had something nice to say about your armpits? Well, that all changes now. This batch of Darkside Soap is specially formulated to remove stink, eliminate crud and make your armpits the talk of the town.

These blue & greenswirled bars smell a lot like that mass-produced soap that ryhmes with Toast...but these bars won't dry out your skin like those nasty mass-produced bars.

Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - Fields of Allergens II

Back by popular demand...and this time it's even better. Made with lavender essential oils, which are suitable for all skin types and are considered to be a cell regenerator. Is that cool or what...you can regenerate cells...what you do with this new power is entirely up to you.

Remember when we were playful young kids and we used to joyfully skip though fields of lavender? Boy, those were the days.
Now that we’re older, just looking at a few springs of lavender though the window has us reaching for the tissue box. Our skipping days are definitely over, and put us out there in a field of lavender and our nose becomes a spigot and our eyes swell shut. Since that doesn’t sound like too much fun, we at Darkside Labs have created Fields of Allergens soap. You get all the beautiful color and fragrance of a lush field of lavender without all the snotty mess caused by the lavender pollen. Made with Olive oil, Coconut oil and premium lavender essentail oil.

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Darkside Soap presents - My Goodness, it's GREEN Guinneshhhh

Guinneshhhh beer soap is back by popular demand and it's now 100% more green. Just like St Patrick's Day is unthinkable without green beer, here at the lab we feel that a shower without green beer soap is equally unthinkable.

The Darkside Soap lawyers have advised us against using the actual brand name of the beer used in this soap, but after a long night of singing 'Dirty Old Town' and shutting down the pubs; you need something to make you feel refreshed in the morning.
If you thought this beer was fun to drink, just wait until you shower with it. There is no alcohol scent to this soap, just the mild nutty scent that beer drinkers of this particular brand love. You feel invigorated & ready for a few more pints in no time.

Soap contains olive oil, coconut oil & a very dark beer.

Purchase

Darkside Soap presents Cookie Puss

Do you ever have nightmares about Cookie Puss? I do. Remember those Carvel commercials…what the heck was he, some sort of alien? I’ve never actually been at a party where a Cookie Puss or even a Fudgie the Whale was served, but I would like to think that Cookie Puss smells a lot like this soap.
Another way to describe this soap would be; did you ever pull a hot raisin cookie right out of your oven and take a bite? It burns like molten lava, doesn’t it…but wow does it smell good. Forget the searing pain for a minute, just think of that smell, that’s almost exactly how this soap smells.



Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - Fudge

Is there any word in the English language that is more important than the word fudge?

NOUN - a type of confectionery which is usually very sweet, extremely rich and sometimes flavored with cocoa.

VERB – to tamper with something with the purpose of deception.

INTERJECTION – used as a replacement for that other F-word.

SLANG – poop.

…and now…

SOAP – Fudge, the latest offering from Darkside Soap is a rich chocolate-scented soap that is going to make your stomach growl. There’s nothing deceptive about this one, unless you think making a soap that smells like your favorite candy bar is deceptive, but just don’t take a bite or you’ll end up saying Fudge! …or even F@#%!

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Darkside Soap presents - Night in Bangkok Soap

Remember when you spent that one night in Bangkok and you thought the world was your oyster? Do you also remember how every single Thai dish smelled like Lemongrass & Coconut? Well, we've taken those Thai scents that you love and used them to create Night in Bangkok soap. It's perfect for cleaning your golden cloisters and all of your other body parts.
Please note - The delicious Lemongrass & Coconut scent might just make a hard man humble and in rare instances the pink swirls could also make a tough guy tumble.

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Darkside Soap presents - Asbestos

Recently some of the lab rats were complaining about respiratory issues, so when I checked the lab, I found some white fibrous stuff in the walls. As I was removing it, some big chunks of it fell into the cauldron while I was making a batch of coconut soap. Um, actually I'm kidding, there's no real asbestos in this soap (note to self - double-check recipe to confirm no asbestos was used before you publish this). Oops...

Anyway, this soap actually uses a generous quantity of Brazilian Sea Salt, which is very good for the skin. When dry, the soap has a scratchy feel, but as it becomes wet it is a very smooth and surprisingly non-exfoliating soap...it's one of our more interesting creations. Oh, and did I mention it smells like coconut???

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Darkside Soap presents - Chicken Pox

Don't you miss the days when you had chicken pox? Aside from some general malaise (and looking like a zitty mutant), you were able to stay home from school, watch television all day & eat whatever you wanted...while covered in a think salve. Well now you can relive those warm fuzzy days with Chicken Pox soap. Each flesh-colored bar contains hundreds of strategically placed red jojoba beads. If you've never experienced jojoba beads before, imagine a soap that's ribbed for your pleasure, it feels a lot like that. The scent is a blend of citrus, honeydew, water lily & mulberry; it's a really crisp scent. The scent desciption said "it's like navigating a kayak through icy waters" which I thought sounded really stupid until I smelled the soap, it actually makes sense.

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Got jojoba?

Darkside Soap presents - Complex & Sophisticated

When most people are asked to describe Darkside soap, the two most commonly used words are 'complex' or 'sophisticated'...but oddly enough, those two words are rarely used together. Well, that's all changed, Darkside Soap has reached a new level...a complex AND sophisticated level. First of all, check out this scent - Beach Breezes: This fragrance is a light Ocean-type scent. It has top notes of Bergamot and Cyclamen, middle notes of Lilac, Jasmine and Lily of the Valley and rounds down to the mellow notes of Cedarwood, Sandalwood and Musk. All these individual notes blend to become the perfect unisex and breezy Ocean scent. Pretty complex, eh?
As if that's not enough, there's Brazilian Sea Salt in the soap to act as a light exfoiliant. Pretty sophisticated, eh?
Now, for the first time ever, you'll be able to confidently tell your friends that Darkside Soap is complex AND sophisticated.

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Complex? Sophisticated? ...or perhaps both??

Darkside Soap presents - Sneaking Suspicion

Ever get the feeling that people are putting Guinness in your stuff? Here at the Lab, we have a sneaking suspicion someone or something is putting Guinness in our everything. We taste it in our foods and all of our drinks have a thin foamy head. To top it off, we found big chunks of Guinness floating in our recent batch of Marrakesh scented soap.
It all ended well, like two great tastes that taste great together, we're actually very happy with the finished product. Plus each bar is like a one-of-a-kind priceless work of art...that you can shower with.

Purchase


Each bar is unique


A concerned puggle observes the proof of the Guinness in the Marrakesh.

Darkside Soap presents - Miss Congeniality

Ok, let's face it, this one isn't going to win first prize in any beauty contests. The bars are a little chunky with weird edges, the swirls are kinda blobby and the color is just downright bizarre. Is it purple, green, black or blue? Who knows?? What this soap really does have going for it is the scent...wow, it smells nice. The scent is a mix of pomegranate & lavender, kinda a fresh, fruity, flowery smell. If you were to close your eyes & sniff, you'd easily fall in love with this soap...but eventually you're gonna open your eyes and be all grossed out by the appearance.

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Darkside Soap presents - Dragon Droppings

Sometimes less is more. I can't think of a single example of this, but if it's a saying, it must be true. Anyway, this soap can be summed up with this simple verse:

everyone likes dragonsblood
dragons are very afraid of needles
sometimes it makes them poop

Enjoy!

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Darkside Soap presents - My Goodness, it's Guinneshhhh

The Darkside Soap lawyers have advised us against using the actual brand name of the beer used in this soap, but after a long night of singing 'Dirty Old Town' and shutting down the pubs; you need something to make you feel refreshed in the morning.
If you thought this beer was fun to drink, just wait until you shower with it. There is no alcohol scent to this soap, just the mild nutty scent that beer drinkers of this particular brand love. You feel invigorated & ready for a few more pints in no time.

Soap contains olive oil, coconut oil & a very dark beer.

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Darkside Soap presents - Bunny Magnet Dark

Now 100% darker than the original Bunny Magnet. Same great smell...new dark color. Also, no longer made with peanut oil...so peanut allergy people can come back out of hiding.

You like bunnies? Well, you better, because once they get a whiff of this delicious-smelling Carrot Cake scented soap, you'll have to beat them away with a stick. You can also try to outrun them, but you should know that rabbits can run up to 30 mph...Much faster than you, slow-poke.

This soap was made using olive oil & coconut oil, so bunnies won't be the only animal that will consider you a sweet-smelling tasty treat.

This soap really does smell nice, and it's swirled with rich red/black colors....being hassled by woodland creatures is a small price to pay for soap that looks & smells this good.

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Darkside Soap presents - Gassy Uranus

Did you know that Uranus has no solid surface and is comprised almost entirely of Hydrogen and Helium? Man, Uranus sure is gassy. The swirling gases of Uranus were the inspiration for this soap, with rich red black swirls meant to duplicate the appearance of the swirling gases of the red planet Uranus.
(as an aside, my Astronomy professor told me that Uranus has a blue-green color, but here at Darkside Labs we don’t have a telescope, so we’re going to stick with our theory that the Uranus is red and black).
The scent of Gassy Uranus is a refreshing Cucumber Melon fragrance which we assume is much nicer than the actual smell of Uranus.

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Darkside Soap presents - F.O.T.G.

OK, it all started out innocently enough. This yellow goo started ozzing through the walls of the lab, so we fed it to our chickens. They got huge & we had giant omelets for breakfast everyday. Well, then the rats got into the goo...and well, now they're terrorizing the neighborhood. Oops...
Ok, now we figure we gotta get rid of this stuff, so we put in in the cauldron & made this batch of soap from it. It smells great too, like Oatmeal, Milk & Honey. Note that application may cause enlargement of body parts, so please use liberally on the buttocks.

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Darkside Soap presents - Zomething Different (R.I.P. Zima)

How the heck did a Zima get in the Darkside Lab fridge?!? We certainly would never drink this stuff and we have no idea who would have brought a bottle of it into the lab, but there it was, sitting there in the back of the fridge. So, we did what anyone would do when faced with a similar situation, we dumped it in a cauldron and made soap from it. This appears to be Zima’s true reason for existing, it made some really nice soap. As you may know, Zima is no longer with us (R.I.P.), so this will be a limited run of just 7 bars. As a tribute to the clear Zima, no artificial color was added to the soap (except a little blue…hmmm, so maybe it wasn’t much of a tribute after all) and a light scent of Ginger Pear was added. We don’t really know what Zima actually tasted like, but we're guessing it was a lot like Ginger Pear.

...oh, and even though we added blue coloring, the soap turned out for be a rust-green color...go figure. Zima acts in mysterious ways.

Purchase

Darkside Soap presents - Black Pepper soap

Everything is better with black pepper, and no place is this truer than in the shower. Black pepper essential oils are known to detoxify the skin, so unless you’re proud to sport zombie-like toxic skin, this soap just seems like a no-brainer. No artificial scents were added, just black pepper essential oil goodness…the scent is just like sniffing your pepper shaker (without the uncontrollable sneezing fit). Some actual black pepper granules were also added to the soap to provide some light exfoliation for your soon-to-be non-toxic skin.

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Darkside Soap presents - Pinky Muskadero

Happy days are here again! Pinky Muskadero, the newest offering in the Darkside Soap line is the perfect soap choice for those days when you want to put on your pink half-top & ride motorcycles with your boyfriend Arthur or when you want to go helmetless in a local demolition derby. The musky sweet orange, cinnamon and clove scents are sure to make you the most popular girl at the local drive-in, but just don’t go acting all Jenny Piccolo…after all, you have a reputation to uphold.

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Darkside Soap presents – Rush Energy Wake-up soap

You gotta hand it to the creators of this energy drink, there’s no ambiguity about what kind of drink it is. Rush! Energy Drink. Here are Darkside Labs, we can’t think of three words that go together more naturally than Rush, Energy and Soap.
You see, we’re all about multitasking here at the lab, and who has time to wait until after you shower to get a jolt of caffeine, taurine and Vitamin B12. We prefer to absorb that stuff right through our skin so we can hit the ground running right after we towel off. As an extra shock to the senses, we infused this soap with three mint scents – spearmint, peppermint & corn mint, plus a touch of black tea sprinkled in. This one is gonna wake you up. Not recommended for people who like to take a leisurely bath before bedtime.

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Darkside Soap presents - Spellbound Woods

Ok, we’ve all been spellbound and we’ve all been in the woods, right? Well how many times have you wished that you could combine the two experiences? Wish no further, Spellbound Woods is here with a dazzling blend of Amber, Sandalwood, Vanilla & Cedarwood fragrances. Close your eyes and you’ll feel like you’re sleeping in enchanted unseelie-infested woods. However, please note that Darkside Labs will not be held responsible if you wake up with a donkey head.

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